Family in Feast and Feria

I just spent a few hours at the IHM Conference. I didn't go to any talks, and only bought a few books. I spent most of my chit-chatting.

Let me just say it's not usual for me to be so friendly and outgoing, but today I visited with so many. I got to meet some 4Realers for the first time in real life. What joy! It was so wonderful to be able to hug and place them in the IRL category!

Did I remember to bring a camera and take pictures? Of course not! I was too busy chatting!!! Sorry if I talked everyone's ear off! It was so good to see old friends and meet new ones. I wasn't able to link up with everyone...maybe next time!

Last night proved to be quite interesting...or shall we say "intriguing"? I have on several occasions as a child developed hives from certain foods. Most allergens I have outgrown. My last bad case was in 5th grade. My mother bought some yogurt, and one was boysenberry. Boysenberry? I had never heard of it. I decided to take a small portion and try it, instead of wasting a whole container. That must have been my guardian angel warning me, because no sooner did I have a bite my lips swelled and I had systemic hives that didn't dissipate until a few days. In retrospect, it was a serious reaction, and now knowing about anaphylactic and allergic reactions, it's a good thing that it wasn't worse!

The joke in my family is to never touch boysenberry. I think I should go on a Rabbit Trail, because I don't even know how they look, where they grow, etc. I've never tried them again, but it hasn't been too hard to avoid, as they aren't very common. I had even forgotten to tell my husband about this allergy....

Until last week. Dh bought some new fruit leather from Trader Joe's, and I noticed one package was Boysenberry. Since it's been SOOOO long since I had any kind of allergic reaction or hives, I toyed with the idea of testing to see if I was still allergic, but I thought it might be prudent to wait until after my birthday.

Last night we celebrated the anniversary of our first date. We walked down memory lane (and MB, Dave had the same feelings when he saw me), had a little glass of white wine (Kendall Jackson Sauvignon Blanc), some dessert, and watched "Life is Beautiful" again.

Everything was wonderful, until I started feeling itchy. I scratched and scratched and then realized I had developed a mild case of hives all over. I think it might have been something in the wine, as the reaction happened before we had any dessert, and the wine was a new type for us. Or, it could have been some supplement or vitamin, but the only thing that was new was the wine. Benadryl cleared the reaction, so I was better this morning.

So, I'll have to do a little sleuthing to figure out the reaction. But it did help me decided to DEFINITELY NOT try any boysenberry any time soon, now that I've had another type of allergic reaction!

Tomorrow is my fortieth birthday. 40 -- forty years on this earth. I feel quite different than I did when I turned 30. At thirty I had finally finished my undergraduate degree, and was accepting that God didn't have marriage in my plans. Ten years later, I am marking the 7th year of marriage and one young son. What a blessing! It is amazing what a difference it is to be loved and to give love.

I had a little birthday treat one day early. Two of our daffodils came out today. We are now experiencing a bit of a cold snap, possible snow and ice, but I'm thankful for that, only for reasons of vanity--I have nothing fancy to wear when it's spring!

Dh is treating me with a night away in an old inn in Maryland. We went there twice B.C. (Before Child). I just can't wait. The restaurant is highly rated, with a wonderful wine cellar. And of course there will be yummy dessert!

Please remember us in your prayers, though. My sister who was supposed to babysit has been fighting a bad cold, and to top it off, she just got a stomach bug. So I'm scrambling for back-up plans. I have generous family members who can step in, but I do a certain little person is going to be disappointed that he can't use his new suitcase and stay overnight at his cousins' house.

"God's ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts." And I add "His plans are usually NEVER our plans!"

The smoke alarm does work. Don't worry, nothing serious happened here. I was just burning last year's palms. I did find out that the smoke alarm does work properly. It's a good thing, because I was just wondering after 1 1/2 years here it hasn't beeped once. I must be a pretty good cook, or at least don't burn things on a regular basis.

I have a promised blog post to Carole for some Easter Vigil ideas. If you could pray to St. Anthony, as I can't find one book I wanted to reference. I've scoured the house to no avail. It's not vital, but it would help to have it!

But if I don't find it by tomorrow I'll still put something together!

Update: I just found it, in the most unlikely spot. 2 minutes after I press "publish"! Thank you, St. Anthony.

I'm turning in early...it's been an exhausting Lent! It always seems God sends a few extra penances right smack during the Lenten season, and this one is turning out no differently. Thursday ds came down with some stomach bug that lasted through Friday. Saturday was continued recuperation day.

Today we awoke to snow which was wonderful. But poor dh was coming down with a stomach bug and he couldn't enjoy it with us. His symptoms were worse than our son's! He'll be out of commission tomorrow, too.

My ward isn't overflowing with patients, as there are only three in this house, but it's still an extra hat to wear playing the role of Florence Nightingale. And when a family member is sick it affects the whole family. Our family is the Mystical Body in miniature, and when one is sick we're all affected.

I'm praying I'll be spared.....and if you read this, please say a prayer for my dh's comfort. He's quite miserable.

For me, the first thing that falls out of routine when I am under the weather is housework. I did a little catching-up in the main level -- vacuuming and mopping and decluttering.

Dh regularly bathes our son for the bedtime routine. We take turns doing the bedtime reading. Tonight dh did it all while I finished vacuuming and mopped the kitchen.

I love doing it in the evening. It's not that I have an energy surge or am a night owl. Our son isn't taking naps any more on a regular basis, and by the end of the day I'm worn out. I enjoy having the housework all done in the evening because no one is going to disturb my task or make a mess until morning. I won't have little feet running into the wet floor, slipping and doing the cartoon feet over the head fall. I won't have a little person taking all the vacuum attachments and making them cars. I won't have to trip over more toys or trucks scooting by while I run the vacuum.

It's not that I mind having my little one around. It's just more relaxing doing cleaning in the quiet of the house. I can meditate on other things, have a clearer focus, do my task more efficiently.

I don't always do major cleaning in the evening. Dh wants to wind down, and that doesn't include having vacuums humming. But I do enjoy the times that I can do it.

If you have only little ones, when do you prefer to do some of the bigger household tasks?

When I married my husband, he had a collection of matryoshkas, Russian Nesting Dolls. The figures were of Russian rulers, starting with Nikita Khrushchev, including Mikhail Gorbachev, Joseph Stalin, Vladimir Lenin, Nicholas II (?), Catherine the Great, and Peter the Great. Actually, I'm not quite sure of all the names..some of the faces are quite ugly, though.

My son has been playing with these over the Christmas holidays. He plays with them for hours, totally captivated by them. I know these nesting dolls are great for educational skills.

I have no problem with him playing with them. I also have no problem with him learning the names and a little bit of history.

But it doesn't quite sit right when I hear him using the names and talking about them like they are old familiar friends. Lenin and Stalin are not people I would like to breed familiarity. The names are being tossed around lightly. At age 3 he's too young to understand they were horrible dictators.

One could say we're teaching and immersing him early but........

What do you think? Do I cough up some extra money and get some other nesting dolls? If so, where and what would you suggest? Good (and pretty, but not too girly) ones for little money?

It's natural for a woman to desire friends. The feminine nature needs nurturing and support. A husband can provide much of this, but there are some conversations and other things of a feminine nature that can never be satisfied except through a bosom buddy, a girl friend, a completely simpatico female. For some women, it can be many friends, for others it's few, and sometimes it's only one. But that friendship is a valuable treasure, worth protecting and cherishing.

As a Catholic wife and mother, there are choices that I have made along the way that narrow the opportunities for nurturing friendships. I don't fit in most secular circles. I find it hard to listen to conversations that bash husbands and the Church, declare the end of childbearing by choice, and many times just insipid or idle chatter that never goes anywhere. I enjoy good food, books, chocolate, nice clothes and feminine frills just as much as any girl, but I can't talk about it ad nauseum. I want examples, witness, ideas, inspiration, books to build up my life as a mother, wife and daughter of God.

So by narrowing my opportunities in the secular side, I turn to the Catholic circles. The choices narrow further, as I know my friends will fit the smaller, more "conservative" side of Catholicism. I am blessed to live in an area with a vibrant Catholic community, with many growing families, striving to be open to life and loving God. It's quite beautiful and inspiring to be a part of the community.

But I'm not always feeling that I quite "fit in." You see, I only have one child. While that is quite acceptable in today's society, it's not exactly the normal thing in good Catholic circles. It's not my choice to only have one. It's been God's blessing to us to send us this one child, and the blessing to not have any more has also been His plan. It is something I have to embrace and accept every day -- God's will for us.

Some days it's oh, so hard. Little get-togethers with moms of larger families can reopen the wound. I ONLY have one. I wouldn't understand how hard it is to raise so many. I have it easy. The stories of repeat pregnancies and childbirths. And then the questions as to why do I only have one? Am I not being open to life? Why do I have such a large house with only one little child?

There are certain things that every mother and wife can share, whether they have one child or many -- advice and stories on life's experiences, so I'm not completely alone. And it's not that I think that my predicament is worse than anyone else. I love big families. I am the oldest of 7, and love my nieces and nephews like they were my own children. The hardships on having many children is physically and mentally (and financially) exhausting. These parents are making huge sacrifices. It's just that my cross is a bit different, and I would love to be able to hash out some of the particulars of my hardships with someone who has been there.

This has been weighing heavily on my heart lately. I've been praying to God to send me a friend. I have a few friends, but not all understand, not all have the time. Besides my sisters, I haven't found the bosom buddy that we can mutually support and understand each other.

I had a glimmer of hope this past Saturday, talking at length with a woman who had experienced some similar hardships. And she was willing to share, and commiserate, and advise and oh, it was marvelous. The sprinkle of water on my parched spirit was wonderful. I didn't realize how empty I felt until I started filling up on the joy.

Perhaps this might be a friendship to nurture? Who knows. But it was a gift, even that little conversation alone. Deo Gratias.

My son enjoys books illustrated by Simms Taback. Our first introduction was Joseph Had a Little Overcoat, both the book and Scholastic Video.

Recently we acquired There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly and watched the Scholastic Video also. Ds has been singing the song day and night, and adding in extra animals and verses.

But I think he's gone too far. Last night we had steak and mashed potatoes for dinner. To our surprise, he kept asking for more steak. He was singing "I know an Old Lady who swallowed a fly" and eating away. It wasn't until the third helping that he asked "More flies, please" that I realized he was playing that the little pieces of steak were flies!

After posting yesterday on the blessing of extra towels...and before my extra towels were even put away I find myself ankle deep in water--AGAIN! The third day with a flood related incident! This one is the biggest this week. Our washer drains into a utility tub, and a towel blocked the drain and...well, it's too gruesome to describe. Let's just summarize and say it's wet, wet, wet in my basement.

The thoughts that run through your head while you're trying to soak up gallons of water: Try to remain calm; Offer it up (that's my mother's voice, for sure); Meditate on symbolisms of water, like Baptism, Noah's Ark. But the most pervasive thoughts: Do I have enough towels? Will this be the last time this week? Is God preparing me for a Flood or something?

Memories flood (sorry!) my mind...how the house I lived in Houston as a young girl for 6 years would flood at every rain. And I really mean flood. The stress of cleanup and the lingering smell of wet carpet is not a fond memory.

I do have a favorite memory about stomping on wet spills on the carpet. We used to sing "Alouette" but my younger brother one day asked why were we singing about "jumping on the wet"? He though the words to the song were "On the wet-ta, jumping on the wet-ta, on the wet-ta, jumping on the wet." So now when I am stomping on towels, those are the words to the song I hear.

All the thoughts on water did bring to mind a phrase, "O ye Seas and Floods, bless the Lord, praise and exalt Him above all forever." This is from the Canticle from Daniel, Song of the Three Holy Children, in Latin, Benedicite Omnia Opera. When I looked in my Breviary, the word "flood" was no where mentioned in that translation. So why am I thinking FLOOD? Why did that word and prayer pop into my mind?

And of course the answer is that it's from a picture book I'm remembering. Pauline Baynes (illustrator of Chronicles of Narnia) has a wonderful book called The Song of the Three Holy Children. It's out-of-print, but I easily found a copy. The illustrations are vibrant, reminiscent of illuminated manuscripts. The translation is from the Book of Common Prayer, so the text is a bit awkward to modern day. But my son and I love it.

And it's so nice to have words and beautiful illustration of a Canticle fill your mind while stomping on towels.

O ye Seas and Floods, bless ye the Lord:
praise him, and magnify him for ever.