Family in Feast and Feria

My husband sent this article for me to read. While not everything directly applies to my life (I don't have My Space or Facebook accounts), there are points that can be applied to me personally and in the future with my son and our relationships on the Internet.

Virtual Friendship and the New Narcissism by Christine Rosen. I recommend printing out the .pdf file for readability.

Although a secular article, some of the points are good reminders for me. It is good for me to examine and reevaluate my computer usage from time to time.

One of the most welcome gadgets we have in the house right now is the DVR for our DirectTV. This device allows me to easily record shows. I can then play them with a push of a button.

This handy device has brought a store of Mister Rogers Neighborhood shows for our use at home.

I love Mister Rogers. I did as a child and watched him regularly. We also owned and listened to his records. He was a Very Important Person in my childhood.

And I still love him. I know he's not with us anymore, but we do have the blessing of his shows and music that he left behind. This baby will always remind me of Mister Rogers. When the music from the Neighborhood is sung or played, the baby kicks up a storm. This is a quiet time of the day to play his shows. They are calm, informative, and reassuring. I admit I catch a little rest during the show (hard to find nap time when ds doesn't take one anymore).

I dug up the old records that we played when I was a child. Mister Rogers was definitely much younger then, but the songs are still quite endearing. Being pregnant makes me more emotional, of course. I get choked up listening and remembering, and seeing my son responding so warmly to the songs. He smiles and sings along and asks to play them over and over.

"When a Baby Comes to Your House" was one favorite growing up. One of my brothers at a young age would cry at the song.

And I remembered how much I loved his song "Cinderella as a Princess". The feminists wouldn't agree with this song, but how it does embody what a young girl perceives marriage to be. Not necessarily the princess part for me, but to be given a home, love, and protection from our own "Prince Charming" -- well, that's what I was looking for and have found in my dh:

Refrain: A princess.
Cinderella as a princess.
Cinderella in a crown as a princess.
In a castle with Prince Charming,
Who will keep all things from harming
Little Ella,
Cinderella, as a princess.

And do you remember "Josephine, the Short-Necked Giraffe"? Those episodes were played a few weeks ago, and my son loved them. I played the record we had. The story had a few different characters, a few different songs, but in essence the same. He liked both versions.

There is a contrast with my son's enjoyment and my own memory. I never really cared for the videos of how things are made, but my son really, really does. He cries when there is no video. And so now I've discovered the show How It's Made that he also enjoys. But that has commercials I need to fast forward. Nothing constantly soft and calm like Mister Rogers.

What a gift Fred Rogers was to my childhood, and now my own family. I am extremely grateful.

I love pistachios. Admittedly, I don't get them very much, as I eat too many at one time and they are expensive. But I have real nostalgia for all the times my dad would share his special bag of pistachios -- and back then they seemed to always have the red shells. Pistachios will always remind me of my father.

Although my son isn't allergic to peanuts or tree nuts, I've been cautious in introducing these to his diet. The allergy doctor said he might be more at risk for developing these allergies, since he's allergic to eggs, wheat, and milk already.

So today was a big day -- Mommy and son shared a small bag of pistachios. He loved them from the first bite, and learned to shell them just like a pro. It was so much fun sharing this nostalgic treat together.

And of course, I had to call my dad and tell him.

Yesterday's meditation from Elisabeth Leseur in the Magnificat was exactly what I needed.

Rich in What Matters to God

We can show our Savior the depth of our love; we atone for past faults and offer the purest reparation...; we can also offer reparation for others, make our interior suffering serve others and acquire more inner strength. From a spiritual perspective, we achieve maturity, and as Saint Francis de Sales says so well, God weans us from the milk of infants to give us the wine of the strong. From experiencing every suffering and darkness of spirit, we discover a great joy in finally doing something for God, to show that we truly love him -- God, and not his consolations, which he lavished upon us not so long ago. The unfinished alleluia ends in a fiat that, in spite of all, is still joyful.

My God, I belong and always wish to belong to you, in suffering or in pain, in spiritual dryness or in joy, in illness or in health, in life or in death. I want only one thing: that your will be done in me and by me. More and more I seek, and desire to seek, only one end: to promote your greater glory through the accomplishment of your desires for me.

I offer myself to you in wholehearted interior sacrifice and ask you to dispose of me for your service as the most common, most useless instrument, in favor of those you love. Make me either passive or active, practicing in turn and as the hour requires the contemplation I love best and other good works according to your will.

Let me always be strict with myself, more gentle, loving, and helpful to others, to make you loved through me, always hiding my efforts, prayers, and mortifications. Make me very humble and draw my heart to yours, my beloved Savior and God.

I haven't been so quiet or loving in my daily crosses! This was a great reminder for me to pick up The Secret Diary of Elisabeth Leseur and finish the book at this time. The quote above was taken from Elisabeth Leseur: Selected Writings. I'd be interested in comparing the two books -- what other writings besides her diary is in print?

I've been working on a project of painting t-shirts for dh for the last few days. I finished up late last night. Because it was late, I didn't clean up my work space. Today I was either on the run or on the couch, so I forgot to clean again.

So just before bedtime, ds comes to me saying he can't get the gunk off his hands. The "gunk", I find out, is chocolate, and it's now wiped all over his shorts. I remembered I had left a piece of chocolate out on the table (don't ask), so I told him to throw it away. (To my relief he didn't eat it.)

We proceed with the bath, and he says that his arms hurt from the scissors. What scissors? Why, the ones on the dining room table, of course. It takes me a while to piece together that from my unclean work space he took the scissors, tried to cut the chocolate, and then in cutting he got his arm. Just little scratches, nothing dangerous.

I chastised him for getting into Mommy's stuff, of course. But then the conversation turns, because he looks at me in all sincerity and tells me I really shouldn't have left out my tools, but cleaned up my work space.

And he's right on all accounts. After all, chocolate and scissors have infinite possibilities and such a big temptation for a three year old. I'm such a bad mommy for leading him into temptation. ;-)

We both learned our lessons today.

This post is just for woman interest. Before today my blog was rated "G" but now I think I've lost my clean rating. ;-) Forgive the "commercial". I don't get any money, I don't sell this product, but I just had to share. Everyone is going to think I'm nuts for writing this. My comfort has definitely gone to my head!!

Eight years ago, shortly before my wedding, I heard from a friend about a woman who was nicknamed "The Bra Lady". I hosted a fitting party and was fitted for the first time in the most supportive and perfectly fitting support garments ever. They weren't gorgeous, but oh, did it change my outlook. My clothes fit better, I had better posture, no straps falling, no tugging, no cutting into my skin, no hanging out. I was in blissful comfort. Mary made a customer for life from that night.

Over the next eight years I've been fitted and refitted for all sorts of needs -- pregnancy, nursing, weddings, everyday wear. I've just been so pleased. The Custom Fitted Jeunique brand (formerly Colesce) has been wonderful for my needs. I have a small rib cage in proportion to my cup size, so most stores don't carry items that fit. And then pregnancy and nursing expands the chest area and require different size.

At 16 weeks, I've expanded and gone up 1 1/2 cup sizes. I outgrew my old bras and was wearing a maternity bra from last pregnancy (not from Mary). I was extremely uncomfortable and I wasn't supported. Today, I met with Mary and now I have relief! Support and comfort, and I'm modest again--another benefit of a properly fitting bra. And these garments should last the rest of pregnancy (with an expander) and into my post-partum nursing days.

All the bras can be used for nursing, since they have a drop down style. She also sells pregnancy support garments (one in lace, the other in cotton, very comfortable) and a post-partum (or surgery) support garment. They aren't inexpensive, but are very durable.

Custom fitting women for undergarments can become a mission. After finding comfort, I look around and see so many women who would use help in this area. The undergarments aren't just for the larger sizes, although those are the ones that find the most benefits.

If you're local (near Manassas), I highly recommend making an appointment with Mary. She will give you a private fitting, and usually she has all the types and sizes on hand so you can go home in comfort. She now only focuses on the support garments (both upper and below). The garments take some getting used to, as most people have never actually worn undergarments that are fitted properly. But it's for your good health and posture AND comfort to give it a try. Most of the women I know never go back.

Contact me if you want Mary's information (jennifergmillerspam@gmail.com--remove the spam). She has a generic website that shows many of the products, but I don't want to put up a link that could be considered "PG". Besides, if you're trying these garments, it's not for looks, it's for function.

I just noticed -- this is my 250th post. Do I really have that much to say?

As the baby grows (9 1/2 weeks), a few things that I've noticed:

• My son's eagerness for a baby: We haven't told him yet, as waiting is so long for a child. But I do believe he has a sense of something. Lately he can't stop talking about babies. He surprised me one night with an exasperated "When is our baby going to come?" I at first thought dh might have told him, but I played dumb and said "What baby?" His answer came "The one Jesus is going to send to us." So I had to explain if God answers our prayers that it will take a while, because the baby has to grow in Mommy's tummy.
  
  The past two weeks, his little blankie is a baby. He cares and tends to it just like a real baby. Perhaps I should get a baby doll....



• Some scents should be outlawed: I can function okay in the nausea department until I leave home. The variety of smells is overpowering. The biggest offender for me is anything that even faintly smells like patchouli fragrance. Even when I'm not pregnant that can send me gagging, but now that scent really is overpowering and debilitating.



• Call Me a Living Target: Ds wants to hug and snuggle with me, especially when I need to take a break or recline. Of course, he's a wiggler, and he manages to hurt me every time we have these bonding moments. Let's just say the upper chest area seems to be the main target -- an elbow here, accidentally push off there, and OUCH!!!
  
  I had a new injury yesterday. It's not directly pregnancy related, but it definitely comes from this "have to be with Mommy". I had to get new eyeglasses because my ear piece on the old pair suddenly snapped and of course, the frame was discontinued. We picked them up yesterday, and while wanting to be with Mommy in the armchair, boom! an accidental hit on the side of my frame, which hit the bridge of my nose. Results are I can't wear the new frames for a few days.



• Maternity Clothing: It's so hard during this time to feel feminine and beautiful, and the maternity clothing market isn't helping me much. I mentioned I pulled out my box of maternity clothes from 4 years ago. Blech!
  
  I went shopping yesterday at Motherhood Maternity. I was able to find a few skirts and one pair of capris. Did you know they have changed the over the belly maternity panel? It doesn't scoop down and come low anymore, but it's more a few inches on top of the waistband. What ingenuity and improvement! I can turn down the top right now and wear the skirts now.
  
  Now, as far as shirts, this is one of the hardest things. I don't want tents, I don't want clingy or see-through. I want natural fibers (I'm hot!). I don't normally wear pink, flowery, peasanty, ruffly, or frilly. Have you peeked into these stores lately? After listing what I don't wear, I've narrowed my choices to almost nihil. AND the short sleeves they are presenting are the least flattering for a pregnant mama -- banded, puffy, or capped all hit the unflattering top part of the arm. Get a clue!



• Happy Feet: My feet were already beginning to hurt, and it was time for some new sandals (the ones I have were bought for last pregnancy). I wear Eurocomfort type shoes to support my flat feet and metatarsal arch problems. Mephisto and Dansko to the rescue. Gorgeous? No, but oh, my feet are in heaven! Dh is NOT going to like the Mephisto ones...



• Nausea or Indigestion?: I don't have MORNING sickness. Morning is my best time. But come around noon, and that nausea creeps in. But does it classify as nausea if everything repeats on me and makes me sick to my stomach? Because that's the other symptom. So I feel sick before and after I eat!
  
  And munching on almonds doesn't help to keep up my blood sugar or keep down my nausea. I thought I would try again, but they are hard on my stomach, and made it much worse for me. Back to the drawing board for a packable emergency snack.



• My husband is awesome: What a jewel he is! When he's home, he picks up the slack, and he hasn't complained or made comments about the fact that things are not orderly or getting done. He's thankful for the small amounts I can do. I can rest and relax when he's at home. What a blessing!

Sigh! I pulled out my box of maternity clothes this weekend. Can you say "dowdy"? I don't think I like any of those clothes. And last pregnancy (4 years ago) was the exact opposite in seasons, so I don't really have transition clothing.

The tune of "Mellow Yellow" keeps coming to my mind but with these words: "They Call me Dowdy Mommy -- Quite Rightly!"

The things we do for love.

I catered to my cravings this afternoon. For more than a week I've wanted crabmeat. You read that correctly. I wanted to eat just plain, fresh, crabmeat. I bought a tub from the grocery store and promptly served some loose meat in a bowl as a snack. Is that being self-indulgent or what?

And did you know Cascadian Farms has a frozen organic lemonade? Yes, and it's delicious. Tastes yummy with crab meat. At least right now in my pregnant state.

Ds agrees. He's enjoying both of my picks. Fine taste for a 3 1/2 yo.

I'll just go ahead and blurt it out: We're expecting a baby! I'm almost 6 weeks along, the numbers look very good and yesterday we were able to see the little sac and the heartbeat. The baby's growth according to the sonogram is right on target with the dates. Everything looks great so far!

Deo Gratias and glory to God!

I'm so grateful for all the prayers. Truly this announcement shouldn't come as a huge surprise, since we were praying to the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Joseph in a 54 day rosary novena. Alice offered novenas, prayers to Our Lady of Guadalupe when the pilgrim picture came to visit. A friend prayed for our intention at the Shrine of Our Lady of La Leche. We also prayed to St. Gianna. And just recently Cay opened this prayer request. This is just the tip of the iceberg. I've had so many, many people -- family, friends, acquaintances, cyberfriends -- all offering prayers on our behalf. And I just want to thank you. Truly, the Mystical Body is so amazing, and the blessing of intecessory prayer is phenomenal. Your prayers have sustained me, brought me peace and contentment during our disappointments and trials, and the intercession for this special intention has brought so much joy!

We found out while we were in Florida, on a week's vacation. I had taken a test before we left and it was negative, so I was just waiting for my cycle to return. A few days later when I couldn't even swallow sweet potatoes without being nauseous, I asked dh to get a test. We took the test on May 1st, feast of St. Joseph the Worker. I didn't even realize what day it was until I rang up Dear Alice and she told me the day! How funny to us, after banking on March 19 being the big day and being a bit disappointed, his "lesser feast" was the day to herald the news!

This baby has a long road ahead -- estimated due date is January 5, and I do have a high-risk history. But I feel we have come very far already. Just being able to conceive is HUGE! It's been a year of trying since our last miscarriage, and a year before that one. I haven't had such good HCG and progesterone numbers in my last two pregnancies (that ended in miscarriage), nor were we able to sustain a pregnancy this far last one.

Can you tell I'm giddy with joy? Thank you, thank you, for your love and prayers and please continue to remember us in your prayers.