Family in Feast and Feria

It's been two years since my maternal grandmother passed away. Last Friday, November 16, marked the anniversary. During November I feel very close to dearly departed loved ones, trying to offer up extra sacrifices and prayers for them, since it is the month of the Poor Souls. I wrote the following soon after we found out she had only a little time left with us.

My Grandmother’s Legacy

This past weekend my family learned that my maternal grandmother has inoperable stomach cancer and only a few months to live. This news comes as a shock. But as I’m contemplating Grandma’s departure from this world, I'm realizing how much I have to be thankful for, all rooted in my grandmother's beautiful and inspiring love of the Mass and the Eucharist.

Grandma is 89 years old and has lived a very full life. She has 4 living children, 25 grandchildren and 52 great-grandchildren. Born and raised in New Orleans, she's a genteel lady and never goes out without her dress and high heels, her hat, earrings and lipstick – even on camping trips!

She’s not your typical grandmother. She was widowed three times. She loves gadgets and innovation. If she could find a faster or seemingly more efficient way to get something done, she’d try it. She didn’t "do" needlecrafts and rarely baked. When she cooked her meals they never were done the same way twice, always trying a new idea. She rarely followed directions, which has led to many humorous consequences.

However, despite her penchant for change and variety, the entrenched anchor at the center of my grandmother’s life has always been simple but deep faith and her love for Christ in the Holy Eucharist. She has shared that love and faith with her family her entire life. Even as a young girl in grade school, Grandma walked to daily Mass alone, then home again for breakfast before school – 12 blocks each trip. This remained her first priority of each day: to go to Mass if possible. That statement speaks volumes of the sacrifices required to get to church daily.

I have been blessed to live nearby Grandma almost my entire life. For the last twenty years we belonged to the same parish, so I’ve been able to attend daily Mass with her. Over the years I’ve watched her gradually decline. First she could no longer drive herself, so family members drove her to Mass. When she couldn’t walk without assistance, she brought a walker. But if she was feeling well, she wanted to have Mass included in her day. She always sat in the back pew and greeted our Lord -- with her hat and lipstick in place. Parish members affectionately refer to her as "The Hat Lady."

Even as a young mother, Grandma made Mass a part of the daily routine for herself and her children. It wasn’t always easy. Fasting requirements were stricter, so she brought her children to church before school and then after Mass she would serve breakfast in the car -- a breakfast she had prepared at home because fast food didn’t exist back then! Inspired by her example and sacrifice, the pastor changed the school schedule making daily Mass a requirement for all students, with breakfast served afterwards in the cafeteria.

My own mother embraced this love of the Mass and passed it on to her seven children. The daily nourishment of the Body and Blood of Christ is also our own priority. It is the way we begin our celebration of all special occasions and feasts. It is coming from Mass, with Christ in our hearts, that we bring Him to the world.

I also now realize that Grandma started one of our family rituals. After participating in the Heavenly Banquet, she brought Christ to others by sharing a meal with her family. As a child I remember going to Mass and then going over to Grandma's for breakfast. Whether it was just coffee and a bowl of cereal, it was still time shared together. Now as an adult, after morning mass, any family members at Church go out to breakfast. This little ritual of a Spiritual Banquet followed by a shared meal has kept our family very close.

Over the years as the number of grandchildren and great-grandchildren grew, we understood we couldn’t expect a check or a gift from Grandma. But if we got a card, it always read: "I offered my Mass and communion for you." These last ten years it was just too much for her to even buy a card, but we still had the verbal promise of prayers. Maybe as a child I didn’t understand or appreciate her spiritual bouquets, but now I’m grateful for that most generous gift and my grandmother’s legacy.

Jennifer Miller and her family live in Manassas, Virginia and belong to All Saints Parish. Her grandmother, May Corbin, died peacefully on Nov. 16 surrounded by her family.

ETA: I had a bad link at the beginning which I've fixed. Now it makes a little more sense.

I've mentioned before our Fall Traditions with Football. This year Penn State Football had their opening game on the first of September, Labor Day Weekend.

Because of the location of the placenta, we had to get doctor's approval for traveling and attending the games. After securing a temporary handicapped tag and words of caution, my OB gave me clearance, thinking that before 24 weeks I'm at less risk.

So Labor Day weekend we packed up to go to Nana's. Saturday Dh, Ds, my MIL, and I loaded up the car and headed for Happy Valley for the game against Florida International. We did things a bit differently than from the previous years, parking in the handicapped lot, and I took the shuttle inside the stadium to my seat. But we all had a glorious time. Ds was just beside himself with excitement -- the band, the Nittany Lion, the football players, the cheers, the crowd, the food -- it was all wonderful!

This past weekend was the big Notre Dame game. I've always been a Notre Dame sympathizer, and have enjoyed going to a few ND games in my single days. When I first met dh in 1999, I looked at the 8 year projected schedule. ND vs. PSU was planned for 2006 and 2007, first away, then this year at home. I made the date with dh right then -- I'm going to go to that game, God willing! And with each football season the Big Game came closer.

Until at last September 8, 2007 arrived! Dh and I packed up the tailgate food and left ds to spend the day with his Nana. We invited a couple, friends from Pittsburgh, to join us. The grill worked well, the food was all delicious, and the conversation was wonderful. Our location in the parking lot was perfect -- all the other tailgaters around us were quiet and low key, so it was a very relaxing time. I used the handicap shuttle and met some wonderful people. Central Pennsylvanians are some of the nicest people.

The rain held off, and besides being really hot and sticky, everything was just wonderful. I had no complications, baby and I made it. The baby definitely could hear the crowd and music and was kicking all night long. Penn State fans were all wearing white, so the stadium was a "White House". The crowd was electric, the game was great, and Penn State beat ND, 31 to 10.

Dh and I spent a wonderful 12 hour date together. The day was even better than I expected, after my 8 years of hoping and planning! And if this will be my last game of the football season, because of pregnancy travel restrictions, it definitely ended in a Grand Way.

And although I like ND, for this game I cheered for the Blue and White. After all, it's a family love and tradition.

I had a lovely day. It was all about spending time with family. In the morning I joined 3 of my sisters and my mother (and the children) for breakfast. Dh was playing golf in the morning with some of the brothers-in-law, one of my brothers, and friends--the annual 4th of July family golf tournament. ;-)

I'm learning to say "when" and ask for help this pregnancy. An small incident in the morning made my blood sugar plummet, and then a run to the grocery store caused some cramping. So the rest of the day I did a lot of sitting and directing.

It has becomes a bit of tradition after the golfing that dh invites everyone over to our house. When I say "everyone" I should explain. I live very close to many of my siblings and their families. One sister with 3 boys is a 5 minute walk, another sister with her two is 1 minute away by car. My youngest brother lives a few minutes away, and he has one son. My parents live a few miles outside of town, and another sister with her four children live 15 minutes away in a neighboring town.

Two siblings live elsewhere, one brother in California (with 2 children) and one sister in Nebraska (with 5 girls). Except the Nebraska family comes to Virginia periodically and stays for visits. Friday will bring to a close a month long visit. :-(

Yesterday we didn't have a huge crowd (as in all the family couldn't come)--15 people in all, 7 adults, 8 children. My parents also were part of the mix. The day a little like "Stone Soup" because I didn't have a set menu. Dh bought hamburger meat, hot dogs, and bratwursts. I said "ya'll come" and "bring whatever" and we ended up having lots of food with great variety. We were able to squeeze several tables onto our screened porch out back and everyone ate outside. The thunder and rain threatened but we didn't get a drop yesterday.

God has blessed me a hundredfold with my family. My parents and all my siblings love and live their Catholic faith, are raising their children Catholic. And all the spouses are on similar pages, and the brothers-in-law get along--they are actually friends. This makes for comfortable gatherings and conversation. We all are starting with the same values, so there are rarely discussions in politics, religion, news that we aren't on the same page. Don't get me wrong--we fight, and still have our squabbles amongst ourselves. (We're a spirited family!) We don't all raise our children exactly alike, and we all very opinionated. It's just so nice to share the same foundation. We love to visit and talk to each other, but there's also the "comfortable silence" in parts of the day.

Fourth of July means family day to me. The day was so lovely, the children played outside various sports including croquet. Having some older responsible cousins in the mix was a nice break for some of us with just littles.

At nightfall, everyone left in search of a fireworks display (to see from the car). I stayed at home, and was delighted to discover that we can view our local fireworks display from our front and back porches. It's not the crystal clear view we had in the townhouse, but it's still comfortable viewing from our home. Next year bring your chairs and bug spray!

May God bless our country.

It's been pointed out that I rarely post pictures of myself, and it's very true. The main reason is there are few of them of me, since I'm behind the camera. But here are a few family shots from our recent trip to Florida. They aren't great, but I'm trying to not be too vain! I have a few unwanted pounds...and it will just get worse the next 9 months!

A week late...but still I wanted to write it down.

My apologies to those who are water-logged in Texas and other areas, but I'm rejoicing today because we have a beautiful, all-day soft rain from Tropical Depression Barry. We had a dry May and my lawn and gardens were crying out for nourishment! This weather makes me so happy! My thoughts keep turning to this section from the Canticle from Daniel comes to mind (also this post from September):

Every shower and dew, bless the Lord.
All you winds, bless the Lord.
Fire and heat, bless the Lord.
Cold and chill, bless the Lord.
Dew and rain, bless the Lord.

When I used to pray the Divine Office on a regular basis, I never liked this Canticle. Now it's one of my favorites.

Last weekend we spent in Altoona, Pennsylvania, visiting my mother-in-law. Once I was packed, I had a marvellous time. My mil spoils me, doing the cooking, allowing me to rest and nap while visiting.

One of our highlights of the trip was visiting Shaver's Creek, Penn State's nature center. The main highlight was The Raptor Center. This place nurses raptors back to health, but some can't return to nature, so they take care of them here. There are eagles, hawks, vultures, and owls in various breeds to visit. Inside they have various snakes, turtles, birds, even a see-through bee hive to view. It's a small center, but delightful, appealing to all ages.

We're beginners in birding. I bought Sibley's Birding Basics to help me build my identification skill, so I can help my son. I also saw Birdsong Identiflyer that I'm adding to our wishlist for Christmas.

Earlier in the weekend we visited the family graves, planted flowers, and prayed for the family departed. I was so impressed on how many people were there at the cemeteries (we visited two), all tending to the graves. I don't see much of that where we live. Seeing the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy in action (Bury the dead and pray for the dead) is a tender lesson for our son.

We attended the small parade on Memorial Day. It touched my heart to see these veterans. They were so thankful for people to be there, and I was thankful for their sacrifice.

May God bless our country.

Sarah is hosting the Loveliness of John Paul II.

I've been struggling for words to say. Two years ago we said goodbye to our beloved Pope John Paul II. I remember the call in the morning in 1978 -- Paul VI had died. I was eleven years old. And after his election, not even two months later, another early morning call, our new pope, John Paul I had died. I still associate early calls in the morning to sad news. And then we had our first Polish Pope election. I remember watching the smoke -- is it black? Is it white? Such confusion...and then his smiling face. John Paul II!

I grew up with John Paul. He was a large part of my life. I saw him in Rome twice, and attended two World Youth Days, one in his native Poland, the other in Denver. He was a dear father in my life, taught me much, and left more for me to learn. A week after Benedict XVI was elected, we miscarried our second child. We prayed to know the name of the child, and both dh and I chose the name "Karol Mary" after our beloved Pope and our Blessed Mother. Another constant reminder to us.

Although he died right before Divine Mercy Sunday, we suffered along with him during Holy Week. I don't know if I can ever separate the memory of his final days from the celebration of the Triduum. We were all walking with our dear "Papa" in Christ's footsteps. He didn't hide it from us -- he showed us what it meant to suffer. He lifted the veil, showed us to unite ourselves to Christ meant we have to embrace the Cross. To love Christ means to pray and to suffer -- and to do it all with joy and in peace.

I miss him, but I feel more closely united to him now that he is gone than on earth. In my heart I believe he is already in heaven praying for us all. The news from the Vatican today is wonderful. The diocesan phase of his Cause has been officially completed. He is on the fast track to being officially canonized and recognized with the official title of "Saint".

And then we can all pray together "St. John Paul the Great, pray for us!"

Official Prayer to Ask Favors through the Intercession Pope John Paul II

O Blessed Trinity, we thank you for having graced the church with Pope John Paul II and for allowing the tenderness of your fatherly care, the glory of the cross of Christ, and the splendor of the Holy Spirit, to shine through him. Trusting fully in your infinite mercy and in the maternal intercession of Mary, he has given us a living image of Jesus the Good Shepherd, and has shown us that holiness is the necessary measure of ordinary Christian life and is the way of achieving eternal communion with you. Grant us, by his intercession, and according to your will, the graces we implore, hoping that he will soon be numbered among your saints. Amen.

March 20th marks the anniversary of our first date. And it falling on the day after the Solemnity of St. Joseph is no coincidence. I had just completed praying a 30 day novena to St. Joseph, asking for guidance in my vocation, and if I was to be married, let me know clearly when the man was right. I say to this day, St. Joseph answered my prayers.

I had been corresponding and talking with Dave before I met him in person. You see, we originally met online at a Catholic dating site. It was 1999, and that still wasn't that "acceptable" in many Catholic circles. He "found" me and wrote to me first. I wasn't really sure a long distance relationship would work -- he was in Pittsburgh, PA, and I was in Northern Virginia. But we talked, corresponded and things seem to match (although it took me a little while to get over the Yankee thing). So we planned our first date, and he drove 6 hours, stayed a friend's house for the weekend and picked me up Saturday night for our first date.

When I opened the door and saw him standing on the doorstep, I knew he was the one. It was as simple as that. And the rest of the night everything was just confirming the thought that "He's the one!"

My girlfriend was worried about this date, so I brought along my cell phone. At a little bathroom interval I called her and said "Nothing to worry about! He's perfect! I can't believe it!"

We drove to Reston Town Center, had dinner at Paolo’s Ristorante. (As an aside, we went back the next year to celebrate the anniversary and were so surprised to find it so loud. We both didn't remember it as such!) He was so sincere, straightforward, no guile, a gentleman, but no airs -- a real down-to-earth manly Catholic man. Afterwards, since we had such a wonderful time and didn't want the night to end, we decided to see a movie. "Life is Beautiful" was playing, and I had really wanted to see it, so we did. I have never enjoyed watching a movie as much in my whole life.

This post is a "2 for the price of 1" as I mentioned I would give a virtual wine tasting report from our birthday dinner.

Before our first date, Dave didn't know ANYTHING about wine. He ordered a bottle at dinner and stumbled over the whole bottle opening, pouring, smelling...but laughed at himself. He admitted he was a novice, but interested. That sparked just a casual wine enjoyment we've had over our marriage. We're no connoisseurs, but have enjoyed dabbling and finding what pleases our palates, and trying the occasional fancier wines.

Fast-forward from 1999 to this past Friday, 2007. For my birthday dinner we asked the wine steward for recommendations. We were eating salmon, so we could have gone with white. I don't really like the buttery or oaky taste that many American whites have, so I lean for French whites, with a dry, crisp and fruitier taste. But we decided for a red, and we prefer deep, intensely full-bodied wines, like Zinfandels. So the steward recommended this Jacob Franklin Petite Sirah from Napa Valley, 2001 vintage. He explained it was different than most Sirahs, that the color was intense, the flavors rich and full-bodied, but fruitier and less tannins (so no aftertaste). Only 10 barrels were produced, so it was a chance to try a rarer wine. And I have to say it was one of my favorites. Many different flavors through the sipping of the wine, but no acidic aftertaste. The color was like crushed blackberries, or the poke-berries that Laura Ingalls Wilder described in her Little House books. Very enjoyable.

Tonight we will enjoy remembering our first date and continuing our wonderful weekend celebration one more day. Thank you, St. Joseph!

Thank you so much for all your good wishes for my fortieth birthday. Turning forty has been absolutely wonderful -- none of what I feared came to fruition. I fretted for naught! (Isn't that the lesson God is always trying to convey?) It's been a whirlwind of activity and so many outpourings of love from so many I'm just deeply touched. Truly, my cup runneth over.

So a little summary of my Triduum, that is, three day celebration. One of my absolutely favorite family traditions is that we attend Mass on the birthdays and feastdays of family members, and all my siblings and my parents who live locally go to Mass together with us, praying for the family member, and offering their Mass and communion. It's the BEST way to start and celebrate the day. Afterwards we go out to breakfast. So Friday morning I was joined by my parents, one sister and their family and my husband and son at Mass and breakfast was at Cracker Barrel.

My mother was able to watch my son, since my one sister had a stomach bug, so it all worked out very well. Ds was an angel and thoroughly enjoyed his time with his grandmother Mani (and also Papa came by, so even more fun). And the next day my sister Fuzzy and their family took my son to the St. Patrick's Parade in Manassas. He loved it, especially the dancers and the musical instruments. The bagpipes really intrigued him.

Dh and I left around noon to drive up north to Maryland, near Emmitsburg. We had some plans to do a little antique shopping, visit the Seton Shrine and Grotto. But God had other plans, as the weather became quite dicey. The farther north we traveled, the more white-knuckle the trip became. Sleet and snow left so many cars off in ditches, visibility poor, that we were so relieved when we reached Emmitsburg. But that town had about 6 inches of new snow on the ground and we couldn't find our way through the parking lots, so we bagged our plans and went up the road 5 miles to Taneytown for our little Antrim 1844 Country House Hotel.

This is the third time we have been there, although it had been 5 years since the last time! It was originally a plantation, and has added rooms and little guest houses (all historical little buildings), making quaint little private retreats. The room was wonderful, off from the manor house by 200 yards. We had to drive to get to meals, but that was no problem. The restaurant stands alone as a 5 star restaurant, and boasts of a wonderful wine cellar. Not to complain too much, but the food and service wasn't as good this time. We were very, very disappointed...I know we were limited because it was Friday in Lent for the main courses, but tell me, how can you ruin chocolate cake? They did! But the wine we had was wonderful...I'll save that for another another post.

The location was so quiet and peaceful, and the snow was just an added feature of beauty. And my sweet dh gave me some wonderful Neuhaus dark chocolates and some beautiful princess cut diamond earrings. Can a girl get pampered any more?

The next morning we had breakfast, then spent a little time at the Antique Mall in Emmitsburg, where we bought a lovely Mary blue tablecloth. My dh knows me too well. I told him I was eyeing this blue tablecloth, he came over and thought it was beautiful, and then said "It would be perfect for the month of May." I had to kiss and hug him right there, because that's EXACTLY what I was thinking! And so I now have a beautiful tablecloth for my Marian feast days!

We then went to National Shrine of the Grotto of Lourdes for Mass on St. Patrick's Day, and then made our way home. There, I had another surprise -- my family was waiting to surprise me with a little party.

Later he told me he had one more surprise, tomorrow some lady friends were coming. He had bought some appetizers and sweets from Trader Joes and Costco, and my sisters also helped preparing for this little party. I had old and new friends and family come over and share in my big celebration. The conversation never lapsed and at least for my part I can say I had a wonderful time. Part of this surprise included setting up my food table like a little St. Joseph Table or Altar...I'll save that for my post on the Fair of Loveliness of St. Joseph Altars, which I will be hosting.

I'm exhausted. My son and I took a long nap this afternoon...that was our St. Joseph treat.

Thank you, again! I received so many good wishes, prayers, blessings from friends all over the world, it sure makes a girl feel humble, special, and loved. I have so much for which to be thankful...God has truly blessed my life, that turning 40 is just a wonderful time to take a moment and drink in all the delicious blessings He has bestowed on me, including you.

So, what kind of inside project does one do on a Friday in cold February?

Make a gingerbread house, of course! We bought a gingerbread house kit before Christmas but didn't have the time or energy to pursue it. This was my VERY FIRST TIME to ever build a house. It was messy, fell over, but we had fun. I even invited some cousins to come over and help. The boys all enjoyed licking and decorating and tasting.



The best part for Mommy? My son had no allergic reactions. The icing and the candies were all safe for him to eat, and handling the gingerbread (which had wheat) gave no reactions.

So it was a milestone experience in more ways than one.

And it was a perfect project for this time of year...I'm thinking of buying two next year and saving one for cabin fever time!

In the illustration above a threefold manifestation of the divinity of Christ is commemorated: The Heavenly Father and the Holy Spirit proclaim it at the baptism in the Jordan, the Magi recognize it by their tribute, and Christ Himself manifests it by showing His divine power over nature at the wedding at Cana. Shining over them all is the miraculous star. (From With Christ Through the Year: The Liturgical Year in Word and Symbols by Rev. Bernard Strasser, O.S.B.)

Epiphany is such a rich feast day, with so many levels of possible meditation. I don't have time today to enter the deep levels, but I'm just sharing some of our family traditions.

Our family celebrates Epiphany with my parents and all my siblings (5 that are local) and their families coming together for dinner. We usually have lasagna. I usually make a New Orleans King Cake (not stuffed), and this year I may also try this allergy free cake. We always invite a priest to come and do the house blessing. Over the years we've had different priests, but now we have a dear friend who loves our tradition and makes it priority to come every year.

We use blessed chalk to mark over the doors 20 + C + M + B + 07, The CMB stands for Christus Mansionem Benedicat--May Christ Bless this House. They are also the initials of the three wise men, Caspar, Melchior, and Balthazar. Father walks around the house sprinkling with holy water, we all sing "We Three Kings."

At first when we didn't have many kids, the dads were the 3 Kings. Now that the children are older, we are trying to get them more involved. Some craft projects are making crowns for all the kings (and since the Bible doesn't say an exact number, you can have as many as you want). Kingly robes would be fun to have, too.

This year I bought some little treasure boxes in the unfinished wood section of the Craft Store, 3 different kinds. I plan on painting/staining and having one for each gold, frankincense, and myrrh, perhaps lining the boxes with fabric. It all depends on the time frame. I was hoping to buy an censor and have one of the boys incense in front of Father while blessing the house...the incense being frankincense and myrrh scented, of course.

Of course, we read books. Legend of Old Befana by Tomie dePaola, Story of the Three Wise Kings by dePaola. There are other Christmas stories we still read, but these cover the Wise Men. I also found Hurrah for Three King's Day by Lori Marie Carlson at my library that helped give an idea of Hispanic traditions.



We also enthrone the Christ Child. I have a small doll that we use as baby Jesus. On Christmas we process and place him in the manger, singing Silent Night and with some lighted candles and prayers. On Epiphany he has a small crown, a red cloak with gold trim, lights around the manger, gold fabric around. The Christ Child no longer looks poor, but we get a glimpse of his Kingship. The Advent Wreath has gold candles and festive ribbons.

I have a little House Blessing Ceremony which includes the blessing of chalk and the home. If you write to me at jennifergmillerNOSPAM AT gmail dot com (removing NO SPAM and spaces, replacing with AT symbol and dot, of course), I can send a Word file to you.

I "discovered" some other "Wise Men" Christmas carols in my song books that I can't wait to teach to my family. So besides "The First Noel" and "We Three Kings" here are some other carols to find. I've starred my two favorites that will be easy to sing.

• There Were Three Kings (De Drie Koningen) Traditional Flemish
  
• He Is Born (W Zlobie Lezy) Polish, Thirteenth Century
  
• Twelfth Night Song, Traditional Russian
  
• *Melchior and Balthazar (Melchoir et Balthazar) A French round from Bas-Languedoc
  
• Brightest and Best (Star of the East) United States Folk Hymn
  
• *March of the Kings (La Marche Des Rois) 13th Century Provencal Carol
  
• Song of the Wise Men (De Tierra Lejana Venimos) Traditional Puerto Rican

May your family have a blessed Epiphany and enjoy the end of the Christmas season.