Family in Feast and Feria

Yesterday was the perfect weather day. It was overcast, cool, light showers all throughout the day, and no outside errands planned. I may be considered strange, but I revel in these indoor days. My soul needs these kind of days. And since here in Virginia we're suffering from a 4.5 inch rain deficit, it's obvious to me that I haven't been getting enough of these days this year to water my soul.

I spent the day in active contemplation, "Martha's hands with Mary's mind" (see The Kitchen Prayer). The last few months the housework has suffered. Ambrose and I spent the day cleaning the bedrooms and doing laundry.

While scrubbing away, many thoughts crossed my mind. I'm not a "natural" housekeeper. Last week my father's sister came to visit. We talked about her mother, and how she ran such a tight and immaculate household. The children had to help, but everything was in tip-top shape. When I asked if Grandma had it written down or shared her mental schedule, she replied to the contrary. To me, that would be hard as a child. I I liked knowing my boundaries and knowledge of routines and expectations. In fact, I still do.

I believe my mother-in-law has an internal clock to housekeeping. She had wonderful example from her mother and her family and household flourished under her hand. My husband knew what was expected from him, and enjoyed the order. Her daughter learned the rhythm and practices it her house.

To me, it doesn't come naturally. I do have an eye to see the mess, and I clean well and thoroughly, but I don't have the rhythm or routines.

I was also thinking about the posts from Melissa in her The Not Supermom Series and Elizabeth on Organization and Charlotte trying to Simplifying My Life.

These women are far beyond me. I'm struggling to keep my head above water with just one toddler. There are so many things that need to be done, and the overwhelming thoughts cripple me. And just writing that is EXACTLY what my mother would say. Just as I was writing, one of my sisters called me. When I told her what I was mulling over in my mind, she said "Ah, the eternal struggle takes time." (A quote from a family favorite movie). And it is an eternal struggle for us.

I need to look at FLYLady again. I don't completely like her method. I want to start with a relatively clean house then tackle bit by bit the clutter. Her routines don't always fit with me....but perhaps it's just my pride talking? I want to see the complete picture, and not just wait for Sunday's email to figure out what I'm tackling for the week. And I want to internalize it, make it my own, tweak it so it fits my routine and I won't need outside reminders. Perhaps make my own chart so I answer to myself, not FLYlady? Am I reaching for the impossible? I also want to reread and internalize Home Comforts. That book really spoke to me. Perhaps someone else can suggest some others?

Of course, just reading and not implementing doesn't work. When we moved, dh made a comment on all the organizational and decluttering books I owned....too many for the disorganized life I have!

I want housekeeping to be a second nature. I want my son to feel the rhythm of the seasons, and know basically what the expect in the house. I need to show a good example of keeping things tidy, so that he practices this himself. I can't expect anything from him that I don't do myself!

I'm also trying to analyze our environment for my son. With a small budget I need to organize his toys, but also set up learning environments and prayer spaces accessible to him...but also tidy and neat. Things are piecemeal right now, but I can see how hard it is for him to concentrate on one item with the messy toys in the background. And not all items have a "proper home." So that's another aim.

And better meal planning...and tackling the extra house projects, like removing wallpaper and painting. How does one juggle? When I concentrate on one area, everything else flies out the window.

And then just a personal routine...time slots for more prayer time, reading time, exercise time....

I think I need some more rainy days......